How to be more Resilient

When talking about personal growth and development, the golden skill to have is resilience. Whether in personal relationships, in a work environment, or while running a marathon; the key to getting to your goal is how flexible you are in the face of adversity.

But how then do you become resilient? With diligent work developing a tougher skin and a more disciplined mind, it truly all starts by being able to face the challenges life throws at you and not letting them define you.

According to the research of leading psychologist Susan Kobasa, you need the basic 3 C’s;

• Challenge: which is the ability to change a negative situation into an opportunity that works to your advantage.
• Commitment: where you identify your identity which helps you realize your life purpose and serves as the base of your goals and why you are working towards them.
• Control: in being assertive but not sweating the small stuff.

How we perceive setbacks is also important, as psychologist Martin Seligman explains 3 main elements:

• Permanence: Which can also be seen as optimism, is perceiving setback as temporary, not permanent.
• Pervasiveness: Which happens by separating a setback from the rest of your life, instead of generalizing and saying “I am not good enough” understanding that it’s actually “I am not good at this”.
• Personalization: Not blaming yourself for setbacks.

So how do we cultivate resilience? There are many recommendations out there, to summarize them, we found these 7 pillars as a guide:

• Physical wellbeing: Exercise, good food, being out in nature, and a good laugh do the body wonders, and a healthy body reflects positively on the mind.
• Emotional wellbeing: Identifying stress, emotional drains, and unresolved trauma’s leads to a stronger mental foundation.
• Mental clarity: Which makes the mind stronger as it’s not clouded by insecurity and fears, leading to better judgement which boosts confidence.
• Spiritual purpose: Being connected to a higher power helps us understand the “why” in our life.
• Healthy personal relationships: You cannot grow in a toxic environment, and those closest to you should be your support not your drain.
• Community: Being part of a wider group gives a sense of belonging and security.

Slowly but consistently, you will find yourself able to manage hardships in a better way, and be able to bounce back faster than ever. The hardest part is to start, so take the first step, be kind to yourself, and watch the benefits compound in your life.