It takes a lot of brain power and self-consciousness to cope with life's uncertainties and difficulties. Ever since I was a kid I was told I have to follow social norms that limited my capabilities and cancelled out my freedom of choice. But instead of it cancelling out my dreams it became the reason I'm trying hard to thrive. I didnt care that my dreams and goals are crazy, scary & semi impossibleto achieve. That girl did not give up and kept on going, and eventually achieved almost everything she wanted. In order to do that though, i came up with alot of cooping mechanisms. I didn't realise my brain was running on survival that whole time until I started to feel like my thoughts and mechanisms are killing my creativity. I've been running on survival for so long...

But then as an architect and as a designer, I can't be on survival mode to create unique work. So I invented another mechanism that can switch my modes between survival and my sage ( inner child) mode. That made me capable of handling whatever comes my way..

I believe these lessons and those hardships are behind evey new mechanisms i adapt to. yes, they have created a better version of me every time, and it almost felt like I evolve and adapt as if it's me version 0.2. But every time I'm faced with something harder, I say to myself, you get nothing your way that you couldn't eventually handle. And since there is not much of free will, ride it out like a roller coasters. you've done it before. There's no stopping you now... that keeps me going. The moral of the story, decide what you want no matter how crazy and scary it may sound If that is your calling. the minute you take that first step towards it, open up your brain and listen to your thoughts if they put you down. Then you need to invent a mechanism tailored from your own experience. And constantly learn from your lessons so you can evolve those mechanisms.

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