In an era of constant connectivity, the necessity to set workplace boundaries is becoming more apparent than ever.Even when we are not in the workplace, the workplace follows us on our devices.The evolution of the home office and remote working has contributed to this constant connectivity.
Why has the need to set workplace boundaries, become so apparent?
‘When you are stuck in the people-pleasing discourse, you don’t have the opportunity to develop your warrior’s muscle’. Dr. Anne Brown.Backbone Power: The Science of Saying No.
As women, we like to say ‘Yes’.Perhaps it’s our maternal instinct, to care for and please others. We often lose sight of ourselves, and our own needs in doing so. This can translate into extra tasks and longer working hours, resulting in minuscule downtime to reset and recharge.
To become the best version of ourselves inside and outside the workplace, we need to ponder Why workplace boundaries are fundamental and How to generate and implement them.
Why Women Need Workplace Boundaries
Author and motivational speaker TonyGaskins states, ‘You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.’
There are many reasons we should set boundaries in our workplace. Before we look closely at what these boundaries may look like, here are three reasons why we need to set them.
1. Boundaries Protect Us
Putting some workplace boundaries in place helps to protect us from the potential of burnout or being taken advantage of by co-workers. If we make our boundaries clear and communicate them to others, we are less likely to become stretched beyond repair. Agreement on what is acceptable and what isn’t affords us protection from potentially toxic expectations.
2. Boundaries Make Work-LifeBalance Easier to Manage
When we have boundaries and try to live by them, work does not become as overwhelming as it theoretically could be. Sure, work will always carry a certain degree of stress, but preventing this stress from becoming overwhelming is paramount. Work, by its very nature, is demanding but if we can control those demands on us while we work, this will have a positive impact on our downtime. Suddenly, it becomes easier to switch off from work mode and delve into play mode. The ever-existing work/life balance becomes easier.
3. Boundaries Allow Us to Be Kinder to Ourselves and Others
We’ve all been there. When we become overly stressed and over-worked, our patience wains. Patience towards ourselves and others. We tend to snap or draw inwards when this happens. Self-care can plummet, as we are too tired to cook nutritious meals or make time for exercise. We often put off socializing with friends and suddenly, we are not very joyous to be around. Our families, partner, and even our children can suffer because of such stress. Setting boundaries and adhering to them allows us the headspace to think clearer, look after our mental health, and in turn, be kinder to ourselves and others.
Seven Workplace Boundaries that Could Change your Life
We now know why setting boundaries is a valuable tool for women in the workplace. Let’s figure out what these boundaries look like and how to set them in place. These boundaries are dependent on your workplace and your circumstances – every individual’s needs are different.
You need to consider these two prerequisites before your boundaries can be created and effectively understood.
Assess Yourself before you Profess to Others
What are your values and your workplace priorities? Your private boundaries will massively influence your workplace ones. Dr. Gana Gionta states in, ‘From Stress to Centered’, that before making any decisions on workplace boundaries, you should consider the following.
- Permit yourself to set boundaries
- Knowyour limits
- Pay attention to your feelings
- Consider your environment
Many factors will influence deciding on individual boundaries. Factors such as:
- Are you a junior or a senior?
- Are you in a male or female-dominated workplace?
- Are you customer-facing or in management?
Considering all the above factors will help you make informed decisions about such boundaries. Reflecting inwards is always a great starting point.
Share your Boundaries
Prevent miscommunications about broken boundaries, by sharing what they are. How can you expect your boss or co-worker to know you don’t respond to emails after 7 pm if you’ve never told them? A great time to share your boundaries is during a team meeting, encouraging others to do the same, so you are not surprising anyone. You may even start a trend of boundary sharing in your workplace, which is bound to lead to a more harmonious environment.
Let’s dive into what these boundaries may look like for you. Take these seven suggestions as inspiration to mould your own.
1. Create Communication Limits
Potentially, we can be reached 24/7 by emails, texts, and calls. It is up to us to control this constant stream of communication and demands.
Common boundaries about communication can include not answering emails past 7 pm, turning off your work phone at a certain time, and taking weekends off. These are not unrealistic demands. Before modern-day constant communication and remote working became the norm, when someone left the ‘office’, their workday was generally complete. We need to realize that sufficient downtime aids productivity.
Communicate these boundaries with your team and stick to them.
2. Learn to Delegate
The good news is delegating is a learned skill that you can develop. In turn, you must trust your team and co-workers to pass on tasks. Some of us may believe that delegating is a sign of weakness, that you cannot complete tasks. It’s a sign of strong leadership as we must consider that one person cannot be expected todo the work of ten people. By delegating, you can focus on the task at hand and work to your own specific skill set. Of course, there will be certain situations when you cannot delegate, but knowing when to use this useful tool in your boundary kit is time-saving and empowering.
3. Say Yes to saying ‘No’
When delegation isn’t an option, often No is the best answer. As women, we are internally wired to say Yes. We fear saying No.
Is saying no a sign of incompetence? Saying no is a sign of strength.
AllisonRobinson CEO of The Mom Project runs a digital talent marketplace and community, that connects professionally accomplished women and world-class companies. Forbes.featured her thoughts on women saying no in the workplace.
‘It’s a‘’no’’ that aligns with organizational goals of having a productive workforce’.
Unsurprisingly, a study entitled "Just Saying "No": An Examination of Gender Differences in the Ability to Decline Requests in theWorkplace.". examines the possibility that women do not say “no” professionally as much as men, in three related studies.
‘Results confirmed that women do not feel that they can say “no” in the workplace and that this relates to other personality differences and outcomes.’
It is up to us, the modern generation, to begin constructively saying no to empower women of the future.
4. Take Time Off
Have you ever thought to yourself, it is even worth taking time off? The answer is a firmYES. It does not mean you are not a dedicated employee, nor does it highlight a vulnerability. Time off, away from a remote or physical office is vital for productivity, longevity, and mental health. Author Alan Cohen sums this sentiment up perfectly -
‘There is a virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.’
Allowing annual leave or vacation days to accrue and not using them is a disservice to yourself, your company, and your family. Use this time to reconnect with yourself and those around you. Remind yourself you are not defined by your work; it is just a piece of your jigsaw.
5. StayProfessional
Whilst it’s great to have female friendships in the workplace, sometimes lines can become blurred, and boundaries become crossed. Having a colleague to chat to over a cup of tea is a wonderful asset. However, becoming over-friendly outside of the workplace may result in a breakdown of professionalism. Always avoid office gossip and feel empowered to step in and refuse to indulge in such behaviors.
6. Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway
It’s normal to feel nervous at the thought of setting such boundaries. Anna Meyburg writes in a LinkedIn featured article, ‘A Common Struggle for Women in the Workplace- Setting Boundaries’ that-
‘…reasonable managers will have a vested interest in accommodating their employees and working out win/win situations. I also believe that COVID contributed to a more open mindset on what constitutes effective working conditions.
Boundary building won’t happen overnight – it requires action within yourself and acceptance from those around you. Prepare for pushback and react respectfully, but do not be discouraged. Be the change maker.
7. Time to Move On
Unfortunately, even with your best intentions, boundaries will be broken. When this occurs continuously and cannot be rectified, moving on and resigning is sometimes the only sensible option. This is a boundary within itself – self-respect. As frightening as it may be to leave secure employment, feeling safe and secure in your workplace is of paramount importance. Your overall happiness and productivity will suffer if you continue to stay in a work environment that doesn’t support your values. It is imperative to stay calm and explain to management that your needs were not met, and your clear boundaries were continually broken. Your future self will thank you.
‘Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. We can't base our worthiness on others' approval. Only when we believe, deep down, that we are enough can we say, enough!’
Brené Brown.
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