Mentorship with Besma Alqassar

We have spoken about the importance of a mentor and how they can help us grow, but what is the difference between a mentor and a coach? How do we find a mentor? And what can we expect from them?

According to Besma Al- Qassar, founder of the Women Mentor Forum, there are key factors that need to be identified in the mentor and mentee relationship.

Most importantly:

1. A mentor is simply someone who is willing to share with you her experiences that can help you reach your career goals and vision. A mentor is not to be mistaken with a coach, who is a hired person that helps you find solutions and reach conclusions related to professional issues through a professional coaching process.

2. You can find a mentor through professionally organised mentoring programs. Mentors that are already part of such programs are there because they have made the decision to give back to other women and help them grow in their careers.

3. Your mentor is there to share her experiences with you - what went well for her and what didn’t go so well and why. She will expect you to ask the right questions and listen to her to benefit and learn from her experience.

4. Mentoring is a same-level relationship. It is a voluntary, but professional relationship. Both you and your mentor have commitments and obligations towards the mentoring relationship. Respect each other’s time, respect confidentiality and keep your conversations professional and focused.

5. Just like any other professional project, a successful mentoring needs to have a project plan, timeline and agenda. This will help both you and your mentor stay focused on the mentoring goals and achieve them within the expected time frame. Make sure you and your mentor agree on these details before you begin your mentoring journey.

Professional Mentoring Programs will have all this planned for you so you don’t need to worry about designing a mentoring program. Once you have identified who fits best with your career goals, it’s good to first know what your goals are that you are trying to achieve.

A mentor will help you build specific skills, stay focused on the long-term plan, and support you in building a resilient mindset.

But a mentor cannot provide all that without knowing what it is you want to achieve, so to start with, Besma advises identifying your goals by:

1. First, set your Career Vision. Ask yourself where you want to be in 5, or 10, or even 20 years from now. How do you envision your professional life and even your personal life to look like? You can ask yourself these questions and write down notes to eventually create your vision statement. A professional coach can help you in this process by helping organize your thoughts and to bring clarity on what you really want, where you really want to be and what you can really achieve.

2. Second, set your Work Values. Whether as a family member or a friend or as a corporate woman or business owner, you are one person. You carry your own values wherever you go and apply them in whichever situation and on whoever you interact with. These become your own set of Values and become your Work Values as well. And like business brands, you are a Brand as well. And the core of every brand is its Values. So, make sure to define the set of Work Values that are most important to you and that will define your own personal brand - strong, consistent and unique. As with your Career Vision, you can ask yourself what values are most important to you and write them down as statements, phrases or simply words. And as with your Career Vision, a professional coach can help you define your set of Work Values that make you the professional woman you strive to be.

3. Lastly, set your Mentoring Goals. Your mentor will want to know how she can help before you begin your mentoring relationship with her. She will want to know what you aspire for and what your current struggles are and even your unique strengths. This will help her determine if she is the right mentor for you - whether she has the right career experience to support you and it will help her think about how she can best support you with her knowledge. You can set your mentoring goals by doing a professional psychometric assessment that will help you find more about your work personality.

The Assessment will help you discover your strong skills that you can capitalize on to reach your Vision. It will also help you determine the skills that you can develop to help you achieve your goals.

A professional coach can also help you in this process to make sure you are able to analyse your psychometric assessment results and fully benefit from it. Just like any other relationship, the one between a mentor and mentee needs the right chemistry to work; if the mentoring style isn’t something you tolerate, the partnership can become fruitless.

Nevertheless, any mentoring opportunity should be accepted enthusiastically and with an open mind, you never know when the best piece of advice will come from!